Yes!!! and…well, um, I think FLEXIBLE Consistency might be EVEN better!
But first…Consistency.
Gotta gotta GOTTA help your kids know that you/their world/consequences are predictable. Why is that imperative?
Because kids need safety, kids need security, kids need authority and gently firm structure.
And imagine: If, whilst we were teaching these fine little people their math facts, we changed the rules. So today 1+1=2, but tomorrow 1+1=3. Really…impossible to learn/compute/process much of anything without some standard rules to follow.
And so, how do we achieve CONSISTENCY? Practice. (Just like with math).
Having a predictable bedtime, hygiene time, clean up time are all great ways to practice consistency. IF I know we clean up before I get to watch TV, THEN I won’t fight it as much.
Flip side: IF I get out of cleaning up because I throw a fit/mom or dad is tired/I refuse and sit there like a slug (you get the drift…), THEN I’ll probably try THAT again. After all, it worked!!!
Also, if I know that the consequences are just blowin’ in the wind and may or may not effect my happiness, well… I’ll test that, too… again… and again… AND again.
PRACTICE what you WANT!
Example: IF we don’t get out the door to school/work on time, THEN we lose the privilege to view any electronics the next morning during “get ready” time.
Will your child LOVE this idea? No… Are you kidding me??? Of course not!
Here’s the point: like the graphic says… there’s no telling what your kiddo might do: might be ready Early, might be ready On Time, might be sitting in front of the iPad playing Minecraft with one shoe on, hair in a tangly mess and breath that smells like something just died in their mouth. WHAT SHOULD BE known is this: HOW YOU WILL RESPOND.
Notice I used RESPOND, not REACT. Very different.
If we are using IF/THEN, we all know what the consequence is going to be AHEAD of time. That is a RESPONSE. No need for an explosion of epic proportions. At least not on YOUR part (that would be a REACTION). Because you have decided to be consistent, you will carry on and carry out the consequence.
And with PRACTICE, your kiddos will learn you mean business.
Now, please people…please… Expect Pushback. Especially if consistency has not been the rule. I don’t care how old a kiddo is, if they haven’t had consistency, they will NOT like it and will MOST definitely give you a hard time. And this is yet another opportunity for you to practice Consistency: You WILL remain consistent and stay strong on this idea of Flexible Consistency.
My idea of FLEXIBLE consistency is based on the idea that there MUST be times we bend. Of course. Kids need to see flexibility too. AND let’s face it… sometimes the alarm doesn’t go off, a kid vomits or the garage door won’t open. That’s life.
Flexible Consistency. Worth the effort.